August 5, 2008 at 6:58 pm | In Current Events, Stupid Things | 1 Comment
Tags: frog is wrong, Seinfeld
I had a bout of blogging apathy for a while there, but when one’s amusement at the net involves obscure Seinfeld jokes, well, one must share.
…and I bet these kids don’t have favorite chess players, either.
April 26, 2007 at 4:51 pm | In Barack Obama, Baseball | Leave a Comment
Tags: 9/11, Curt Schilling, odd analogies, Rage Against the Machine, Red Sox, Seinfeld
“It’s dripping something on my feet – some kind of red liquid.” I refuse to believe Gary Thorne’s report that Curt Schilling’s sock was not, in fact, bloody in the 2004 playoffs. I simply will not give any credence to the rumor unless it’s substantiated by tests (and if Schilling and the Hall of Fame say no tests, I will totally back them not giving the rumor even that much attention). I think I now see why people hate 9/11 conspiracy theories – if the details of a stunning, inspiring event were falsified in any way, it somehow (albeit completely illogically) undermines the drama of that event, and therefore somehow lessens the event’s significance in their heroes’ (neoconservatives/Red Sox*) ongoing crusade against their greatest foe (the Constitution/the Yankees). To clarify, I now understand the illogic of hating conspiracy theories, but am in no way defending such irrationality. Plus, the truth about one will make a fictional construction out of great sports TV, while the truth about the other may reveal who really killed people at the Pentagon.
“She keeps talking about getting back together with her old friends – ‘the gang,’ as she likes to call them.” While I’m in a conspiracy theory mood: what if Rage Against the Machine is actually a Republican creation designed to drive liberals away from the Democratic party? They broke up just before the 2000 election after protesting the Democratic Convention, but are now back together for a few concert performances (not a full tour, alas). If this leads to a new album in the summer or fall of 2008, and they again attack the centrism of the Democratic Party (a very real problem, admittedly, but one that must be addressed on a local scale rather than nationally), I will seriously start to wonder. Or I’ll be so delirious with joy that I totally forget.
“That’s what we’re about. You don’t remind me of anyone and we love gum.” I’m again going to debase myself by engaging in a discussion of cliched, baseless beliefs that are dumb. Though they will likely impact far too many voters, I still hate them and know they’re bull (I am aware!). Case in point: highlights from the Democratic debate (I don’t get MSNBC for the full thing) underscore that Barack Obama, more than any of the others, looks presidential. You’d really think that my mind wouldn’t allow that of a black man, but it’s just much easier to see him in the Oval Office than it is to visualize it of even Edwards. That said: I am still having a hard time developing strong feelings about any of the candidates. If not for Obama’s smoking (or rather, the fact that he’s so image-conscious that he quit before starting his presidential run, but didn’t care enough to do it before) and the oversalient race identity, I’m sure he’d be the guy to get behind so far, but he is what he is.
* That analogy was the most painful thing I have written in a long while… I think the PSE has sapped my paralleling-of-unrelated-things skills.
March 23, 2007 at 3:41 pm | In Politics | Leave a Comment
Tags: Barbara Boxer, James Inhofe, Seinfeld
“I really let him have it. He has no business being in your audience if you didn’t want him there!” It’s quite great to see President Gore getting the credit he deserves for his long history of environmental activism. That, of course, is secondary to the mere fact that Congress is no longer in the hands of people who disbelieve science in favor of tenuous evidence manufactured to support existing policies. But really, the highlight of Wednesday’s hearings was Barbara Boxer reprimanding James Inhofe. That blessed moment marks the birth of what I’m calling “C-SPAN porn.” I have watched it at least a dozen times, and I still feel like cheering (and yes, my analogy is falling apart) at the end.
“That’s who I care about – the little kid who needs bootlegs, because his parent or guardian won’t let him see the excessive violence and strong sexual content you and I take for granted.” I’ve never been in Physicality Scouting for the money or the fame, but I wonder how much longer this big little project will last. Unless things change between now and the end of the season, a much clearer hierarchy has emerged among the elites – there’s almost twice as much of a gap from first to tenth as before. This clarity makes future work of questionable value. On the other hand, watching TV would become a much more passive activity without the Endeavour, so perhaps a better solution is simply scaling back or shortening seasons to reduce “scouting fatigue.”
“It’s too stupid to confess. Look at what I’m confessing to.” Slowly, I’m joining those who are discontent with the offerings of today’s television schedule. Since the presumed death of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, no new shows have emerged as favorites. The Black Donnellys, Raines, and Andy Barker, P.I. fail to really capture my interest in a way beyond “well, I’ll watch something to relax.” American Idol has ceased to have contestants with unique personalities and styles, Battlestar Galactica has plummeted in quality since the start of the season, and classic Law & Order is really just going through the motions these days. Worst of all, of course, is that The Pussycat Dolls’ show is the apparent death blow for favorite-that-must-not-be-named-lest-I-cry. I’m basically down to two hours of weekly shows on most nights, compared to three-plus in the fall.
Coming soon: a full hierarchy of the good, the average, and the replacement-level TV shows! The 2007 Opening Day MLB Rooting Hierarchy! Other things no one cares about!
January 20, 2007 at 7:09 pm | In Politics, TV | Leave a Comment
Tags: Hillary Clinton, John Mellencamp, Seinfeld
“Pardon?“ On the news: “… Hillary Clinton hopes to redefine herself as a centrist.” Redefine? This is a Senator who voted to authorize military force in Iraq, who refuses to consider cutting funding for said ill-conceived war, and supported the renewal of the Patriot Act. I’ve said it before, I know, but it bears repeating as long as it remains a problem: the Democrats are not liberal. The vast majority of the Senate is centrist at best, and Hilary Clinton is certainly part of that contingent. My guess? By the time the primaries roll around, Democratic voters will be ready to renounce Clinton’s ineffective, conservative tendencies. Clinton is the ‘04 Kerry of the ‘08 field, and my vote will again go to whoever is most likely to stop her (possibly John Edwards for the second primary in a row).
“Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.” Another case in favor of being ill-informed: I have just recently realized that John Mellencamp’s “Freedom’s Road” comes out Tuesday. If I had been following this more closely, I’d have been losing my mind waiting for the year’s first album of interest. As it is, I’ll only have a few days of anticipation and thus, if the album sucks, won’t feel a massive letdown. In the meantime, I’ll continue to gradually rebuild my music collection (some of my CDs weren’t backed up before my last hard drive formatting).
“It’s a lot of hard work. But it comes fairly easy to me. Some people write symphonies. This is my gift.” Speaking of music: the Music Evaluative Index is in full swing. Almost daily, I wonder if it’s all too much work… but then I realize that not all of my stat projects have to have a set ending date. Maybe I won’t get my entire library (or enough of it) spreadsheeted for a year or two, but so be it. Someday, I will have a statistically-derived ranking of my opinions about thousands of songs (not sure I realized how good James Taylor’s “Fire And Rain” is until forced to quantify it), artists (alt-country Kathleen Edwards is a surprise success thus far), and albums (Hole’s “Celebrity Skin” is better than I like to admit). And that’s worth working for.
“Men don’t care what’s on TV, men only care what else is on TV!” The good news: “Prison Break,” “Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip,” “Gilmore Girls,” and “Veronica Mars” return this week. The bad news: the State of the Union will pre-empt most Tuesday night television, and TV Guide lists reruns of anything of interest Wednesday and Thursday, with the exception of the guilty pleasure that is American Idol. In other words: no “House.” No “SVU.” No “Boston Legal.” No “Criminal Minds.” No “Earl,” no “Office,” no “30 Rock”… bridging the entertainment gap from Veronica to Friday will be a challenge. But I’ll get by with a little help from my DVDs.
